The Last Night

Well, I started to write this blog so that I can keep it as a diary entry, an episode which I could go back to whenever I want to relive my days, here in UK, far far away from home. There is no clear line as to whether the feeling that I have today is good or bad, let’s just call it a grey area as of now for I am sure that the dark side of it is just temporary and will vanish as soon as I go back to my country.

I have a huge slam book of memories to take with me, of the Emirates, the Theatre of Dreams, the city of Manchester, the UK Somerset country side, the sinfully frantic shopping experiences at the happening central London streets, the beautiful London architecture, the go-crazy intoxicating music in some of the legendary London clubs, riverside beer conversations with some unexpected yet very special friends and so many more picture perfect frames!

And as I sit here in my flat spending my last night here in London at home, I realise that the three months gone by have been as rewarding as anticipated in the beginning! The reason for the most part is my job though it gave a few rough days, sleepless nights and crazy stress, all impossible to handle but well, it’s a package. If you want the good part of it, you take the other side as well.

There were some breathtaking moments along the way, professionally as well as personally. And these made up for the countless nights that I spent in front of my system unable to figure out why I was doing all this. There comes a point in life when your mind starts playing tricks on you. And in my case, my brain was teasing me as if to say, “Isn’t this what you always wanted? So what are you crying about now?” But then things became better, which is primarily because you get used to even hangovers when they stay for more than a day! That’s what happened to me and once I got used to that, life was miraculously easy.

There was one extremely special moment, which was life-changing yet completely unexpected. I always thought that I was slogging to get that job, to be a part of this fraternity, to fulfil the next level of my well-thought out dream process. And finally the reward was there for the taking and when all should have fallen into place, they did but just not to form the same picture. I had to make one of the toughest choices apparently but it was not tough at all. So the most awaited words are spoken. “We would love for you to join us here.” And at that moment, it was spontaneous! I knew I had to go back, not because I don’t want this job. That was never the argument. But because there is something more important to look forward to! And now in hindsight, I probably realise that the only thing that was driving me to finish these three months here is the thought that my future is there, back in India waiting for me, where I left it!

Now there is no more confusion. I leave this city only with fantastic experiences that will speak for themselves long after I leave this place. There are no regrets. Not even a remote sense of curiosity as to how different life would have been if I had said a yes to moving to London. Just a hidden nostalgia for I will surely miss this city and the independence that it gave me in terms of every single decision of my life. But that’s about it! All the tricks by the mind fail for there is a content feeling that getting this far in itself was a big feat. And if I have to feed to my ego, well I can always use the self effacing thought that “they did actually pick me and it was I who wanted to move along!” and that feeling is almost like winning a break-up!!!

The weeks gone by

I had planned to write this piece before I even left India. Just did not know when I would befriend the city enough to be able to do justice to the culture that this city is so famously known for. And after the three weeks that have gone by getting to know London, there are mixed feelings. The positives are definitely attributable to London itself and the negative ones are nowhere related to it. I have no benchmarks because this is the only country that I have come to besides my own and needless to say, there is no comparison to India, not just because it is exemplary but because it is home and any expression about home is bound to be tainted with favoritism for obvious reasons...

The enthusiasm that I had when I entered London was quite high just because I was longing so much for a change. Being the restless soul that I am, I get weary of my surroundings and people very easily and a change always does good. And besides, I was stepping into the actual career of my dreams, probably the closest that I can get to the real investment banking world in its magnanimous persona in the near future. So it was all supposed to be an adventure. And more or less, it has been that way! The city has done justice to all my expectations. If you are someone who loves to be alone, who enjoys personal time so much so that you prefer time with yourself over being in a crowd, well perhaps this city is one of the best options. 

It takes no time to be part of the crowd, the crowd that I am referring to, being a part of a particular genre of people. If you go anywhere in the city of London (that is just one square mile at the center of the city, the rest being referred to as Greater London), you see the standard set of crowd, especially on a weekday morning. A sea of people who take the tube, a Starbucks in one hand, a newspaper/novel in the other, earphones making sure that people know you do not want to be disturbed from your personal space, looking up from their book once in a while to see if they reached Moorgate/Bank/Monument (tube stations), then walking at a speed from the station to their workplace that is enough to win a marathon, all the while mailing someone on their Blackberry or calling their bankers/bosses to tell that they have already mailed the work from yesterday at 4 in the morning!!! It's the same kind of people, whether man or woman and all of them dressed in exemplary fashion and looking super fit by the way! 

It's easy to be part of that crowd because you need to know no one unlike back home where travelling by Mumbai local gives you a bunch of friends referred to as "Train buddies". This is not to say that people here are unfriendly. They are quite the opposite actually. I was impressed by so many gestures, a cab driver wishing you a good day, a driver stopping in the middle of the road to let the pedestrians cross first even at the peak hour, people willing to help newcomers get familiar with the city and lots more. But I have never seen personal space my entire life the way I have seen the past three weeks. You don't know if you like it or dislike it. You know you are a part of something big (holds true only if you have the same dream for a career as I had since I was 16!!!) but you also know that so are the thousands of others walking alongside you.

The city in itself is a paradise, the architecture of a shopping mall is no less than a castle and you sometimes get the out of the world feeling, when you look at a St.Paul's Cathedral from a Millennium Bridge at 3 in the morning. That's beauty at its best. You are always alone but you never feel alone for if you stop a moment and look around you see that there are so many like you. Hanging out as a group isn't the norm here which was a shocker for me. But you have to give this one to me. History has given me too many shared laughter and such strong bonds of camaraderie. And as far as I am concerned, misery and euphoria, both needs company!! 

I haven't seen much of London other that the fifth floor of 10, Aldermanbury, London Wall and to be honest, settling in was hard. I had a tough time getting used to this lifestyle because there are a few people that I always need to fall back on and they all are 4,500 miles away. My health didn't support much either and above all the work is taxing beyond levels. But things are falling into place now, because as my dearest friend said yesterday, when you have to be working 20 hours a day, meeting no one but your colleagues, struggling to take out couple of hours to do just anything besides work, you may as well do it with a smile!! And when you think of it that way, things seem all peaceful again. It's strange how much of a role perspective can play in your life.

Well, giving it time did work! I am falling for this city.. Slowly but surely!

Of beliefs and of reality - A common man's perspective

The Jan Lokpal Bill has today reached a stage, where every Indian wants to be associated with it, every form of media talks about it (for like days together!) and every individual wants to have a say about it… so much so that people like me are willing to write blogs on it to share our views on one of the most talked about issues in the recent past of Indian politics.

For people who aren’t very familiar with the concept of the bill, it is an anti-corruption bill drafted by civil activists for the appointment of an independent body (to be called the Jan Lokpal or Citizen’s Ombudsman) which would investigate the corruption cases with the aim of finishing the trial within a period of one year so that there is justice for all and that too in a reasonable time frame. And by independent body here, we mean that the government has no influence on them. This independent body is to be made up of people selected by judges, citizens and other authorities and since the politicians have no say in the constitution of the body, the corruption angle within the Lokpal will be minimal and even if such a case of corruption happens within the body, there are ways to remove those people within a period of two months. That’s the summarized yet comprehensive version of the concept of Lokpal bill.

 This bill has time and again been proposed and there have been frequent controversies and oppositions. And my opinion is that these oppositions aren’t really unfounded. I know this statement may not be very well received by a major portion of the population which has shown its keenness in supporting the widespread revolution that started in the capital city but is spreading like a wildfire now. For people who have been victims of corruption and bureaucracy all through their lives (and trust me there are millions in this category) this is like a light at the end of the tunnel for they know that if there is any chance that this thing gets implemented, that would be like a fitting climax, what you see in a Bollywood movie where the good wins the evil and then everyone lives happily ever after. Let me make it clear that I am not being sarcastic about the concept of the bill in general but that being said, there are serious questions on the implementation and the understanding of this bill.

Being an Indian, I can very much empathize with these people who are trying to fight out corruption with all that they have in their hands. We all talk about it at workplace, trains, buses and any other place where we have two people to listen to us but no one takes any step forward and these people (the supporters of the bill) have done that and that’s an achievement and no wonder everyone wants to be a part of this because each one of them believes that they can fight it. They were all waiting for a trigger and they got it in the form of these people. We need to acknowledge their bravery and proactiveness because they are fighting for what they believed in.

But let’s not overlook the bigger picture here. On paper, everything looks perfect but what about the reality? Is it really a viable option to create a ‘larger than life’ body that will have so much power within its hands? Is that how the laws of a country with a billion people are supposed to be made? And when we talk about the power, we don’t even know clearly what all these powers encompass. The bill is not very clear in terms of the judicial authority that the Lokpal will have. There is a reason why the constitution of India separates the powers of executive, legislative and judiciary. Are we sure that we want to create a body that will tread within the borders of all these areas? How can we expect that kind of an organization to work? And who are these people who we think are qualified enough to judge on every other person in the country and be given irrevocable powers for that? Howsoever qualified that person might be, will it be unfair to assume that those ‘impartial people’ are not likely to be affected by the same conflicts of interest that every other person in power does? And above all, are we saying that a small body of a few individuals will have the capacity to handle loads of cases and then provide fair justice in all of them? Not unless these people we are talking about are some super-humans or mutants for the sheer volume makes it look like a gigantic task. All I am saying is that before creating unrest in social life through agitations and protests, for the implementation of a bill (which is likely to become like a parallel constitution) whose clauses are not even clear to the larger public like me who is going to be the beneficiary of the bill in the first place, should we not make sure that what we are fighting for is feasible and not just a concept that looks excellent on paper and is going to be failure when we see the practicality of it?

No doubts that this is a good cause and an excellent act of courage, but let’s not fool ourselves. Let’s not be tempted by the longing dream of seeing a corruption-free country into believing that such a big change is going to happen just with a dream (howsoever strong and noble it may be). The patriotism inside me also cries out to fight for the good cause but let’s not let our emotion overpower the practicality that life is!

The survival instincts

Mumbai city is one of the busiest cities of the world. It is home to almost 20 million people (increasing exponentially every year) and nearly 30,000 people live in every square kilometre which is a breath taking number. So no wonder this city is the focal point of so many terror activities. The idea behind any such activity is to create a fear in the minds of the people and larger the number of minds affected, greater is the impact. And if a person thinks logically, this is the place to target if you want to send out a message and if you want your message to reach out far and wide. Well that brings us to the question of who is really the intended recipient of the messages that such attacks convey.

This is one question that I have never been able to understand completely. Are they (and I am going to use a pronoun throughout my blog and not use any provocative words to keep this least controversial) making a statement to the authoritative powers, the decision-makers of the country or is it directed towards the common man? Well, I don’t think the answer is a straight forward A or B here. Guess a bit of both is what I will settle for. The irony here is how many people who get directly affected by these blasts which are now infamously described as the “Mumbai terror attacks” (with a special wikipedia page being dedicated to each such attack) really know what is it that is happening at the global or country level that drives these operations. Again silence is the answer!

Well enough of trying to understand the larger picture. Let’s try to understand the subtleties here. What do you think goes on in the mind of every Indian citizen who might directly or indirectly get scarred by these happenings? How many families have their relatives working in this city (guess everyone has a friend or a kin working in Mumbai!!) and spend sleepless nights when they have to send their sons and daughters to pursue their career in Mumbai? It is a pain to think of the dilemma that they go through for they do not want to be the parents who act like roadblocks in the journey of a youngster’s dreams. If you ask me (I here represent the scores of people who move to Mumbai everyday because that’s where you have to be if you have to make it big in your life), I am fearless and indifferent to these attacks because that’s what happens in most of the “dream” cities of the world. Does that mean they have to think the same?

If you pity this category of people, then let me show you another set of wounded heroes. These are the people who have stayed in Mumbai all their lives, who cannot live in any other city for nothing compares to the commercial and free lifestyle that this city offers (I completely second them by the way!). These are the people who are referred to as the spirited Mumbaikars who have been through so much in their lifetime (even the younger generation has seen multiple disasters thanks to the periodic intervals in which these occur never letting them get over the last one completely…) that they have learnt it the hard way to be prepared for anything that might happen when they leave their homes in the morning for their livelihood. That is what, exactly, is the most depressing underlying fact!! Humans adapt to everything because they have to survive. And that everything is not just rains and traffic that this city is already so known for. That “everything” now includes even the traumatising experiences that they encounter time and again!

So where is the end to all this? This question is rhetorical. No amount of police can provide an exhaustive security to the 20 million people in this city because the idea itself is so out of imagination. At least, it escapes me how you can have an all-encompassing system to ensure no anti-social elements enter a city in which thousands enter everyday for a career. Mumbai is always going to be on the radar because of its biggest strength-its people- and well, the people know it as well.

Give a shot at making these people understand how dangerous this city is and try suggesting to anyone in this city to move to some other place and start a safer life there. There is hardly a soul you can convince and that’s not just because other places are also subject to the same threats. It’s just because Mumbai has a way to make people fall in love with it and after that it’s a one-side love story. You know you might end up getting hurt any day but then what’s the point in living if you haven’t lived your life to the fullest…. 

To a lifetime friendship...

The universe of “friendship” has different kinds of species in it. There are some friends who are always ready to hang out with you so that you are never alone, you always have someone to celebrate the best of your times with and the broader picture of life looks like a scene from Hollywood with all laughter. There is yet another type who is there at your beck and call and you know that when you are in trouble, that is the number you need to save in your speed dial for that person has a solution to every problem in your mind. And a few more belonging to the group who probably never express what you mean to them but tell you with their smallest of actions and the rarest of smiles that you are safe in this world coz “I am there for you”.

Well, I found a gem who is all of these and much more. Six months ago things were so different in my world. I lived a life where I worked 80 hours a week, slept through the weekends and spent rest of my time in my beloved books and movies. And then on a day for which I thank my stars, I met two of the most influential people in my world till date but this column is just about one of them (the other needs a longer thinking process to fit in my blog and that we will save for some other day). Our friendship has been like a joy ride all along not because it’s just fun that matters in life, but because he has taught me that happiness is what we live for. When you get the privilege to be a part of group to which he belongs, you learn to live life the way it was meant to be… that “seize the day” motto that every third movie talks about and every philosophy class teaches you.

There are so many things to be impressed about in a human but I can’t list any of that in this guy. Not because he has none but because that is an experience only a lucky few are entitled to and I am not certainly going to share that fortune with the readers of this blog. You have to meet him to know what a remarkable person he is and if you haven’t met him, well, that’s your bad luck! Don’t expect any descriptions from me here!! Thanks to him (along with a few others), I have learnt to appreciate so many things around me… What used to be lonely city where I have come just for my job leaving all my close friends behind became “The most adorable place” where I have come to love my freedom with a bunch of people who seem so much like my own.

I am keeping this one short for he knows how much I appreciate him being a part of my life and there is no need to write an essay for that. And if I know him correctly, he would already be welling up when he reaches these lines. It’s his b’day today and I wish him every single happiness in life. I hope (and Know) that this is one of the scores of such days that we are gonna celebrate together. May he get all he wanted in life including a shining career in advertising, a lifetime of happiness and unbridled success, a chance to travel around the world and visit all exotic places, a brilliant Jaguar (or Aston Marin or Mascerati whichever he likes more), and of course a bunch of precious people to enjoy all these with (including me!)… Happy b’day Nyukeit Thakkar and God bless you J

PS: There is only one thing I would like to change about you but my gift will take care of that!!!!

Confusion at its best!

This is going to be a weird blog for when I start with this I am clueless as to what’s going on through my mind. It is probably a blunt confession of thoughts as they flow, trying to form a picture but are still out of focus… no editing, no read-through and not even pauses for second thoughts. Mirrored here are the scribblings of an unrelenting restless mind that understands no emotions other than practicality, no expression other than laughter and no relationships other than great company….

Let’s rewind the last couple of hours to where this turmoil all started… I finished reading a book by a person very close to me, that talks about his past life, that is so dedicated to his friends and that is an overwhelming flashback of some very special memories… Every word in that book was a simplistic encounter with reality and with friendship, as beautiful as it can be. But surprisingly (or rather shockingly!!) these words kindle in me no emotions, no memories and no fond remembrances. I take a breather to wonder if I haven’t myself had such remarkable friends in my college days… Or is it that those have failed to leave any mark in my life… Well, that can’t be it! I still have vague recollections of times when I used to be quite the opposite of what I am today…

Couple of years ago, this book would have made me all nostalgic, giving a providential feeling towards that bunch of guys that I used to hang out with. So what went wrong? Has the emotional betrayal (not one but many) along the way made me devoid of the emotions that so used to define me? That does seem to make sense but do you call that a positive development really? This small retrospection session has just driven home the fact that I have developed a shield of resentment around me that has made me impassive towards most forms of sentiments. I know it is a very heavy statement and I am not really proud to have reached this stage.

This state of mind has given new definitions to a lot of “concepts”. Being alone is now just the lack of an environment of celebration and all you need to overcome that is some loud music, a couple of drinks and a gang of friends who can make fun of each other and laugh on it… Missing someone is just another phrase for saying that I have been busy with life and not had a chance to catch up with you. Friendship is a state of mind where you have a bunch of people to call when you want to go clubbing or when you don’t feel like being within the four walls of the room. A date with a guy you like is just a good dinner, conversation and a nice long drive. And worst of all, love is just another term for getting addicted to someone’s company! The sad truth is that to reach this level was a conscious effort under the perception that “the grass is always greener on the other side” but it turned out to be a hard-hitting realization that the mind is still in an unstable trance!

The silver lining, if you really want to see it, is that this extreme end of the tunnel gives you a strength to face most of the trauma that comes your way (by trauma, I mean heart-breaks which have been the climax in most of the trusted relationships/friendships that I have been in…). But was it really worth going from one extreme to another, where you have lost the sincere warmth that you used to feel towards select people? Is it even fair on the people who really care for you to be affected by this detachment and lack of reciprocation? And worst still, what if it takes the few remaining kind-hearted souls from your life and by the time you start rediscovering those lost emotions, you are again left in a solitary duel? Scary thought isn’t it???

Looks like life is going to be a prolonged quest for striking that balance of lucidity. Thank god for making me arrogant enough to not accept the existing state of affairs and keep fighting till you reach the level that you envisioned all along. As much fun as it is to fight these disputes between the heart and the mind, the bottom line remains that if either wins, you are on the losing side!

PS for people who really care for me: I am not into any form of depression, just trying to better my perfection by thinking out aloud!!

A birthday note to a remarkable friend!

It’s hard to believe that it all started almost seven years ago. Has it really been that long? Time does run quick especially when you are in the best of days. This was when I was a 16 year old college girl. And someone introduced me to this guy and it was one hell of an introduction! He was apparently called by the name of “Spidey”, an abbreviation of Spiderman which I still have no clue as to the origins of that nickname. I had a special fondness for his name “Abhishek” and I for one, used to be the single person who addressed him so for the most part of our college life, three years in that amazing place that still remains the reason why I am what I am today!

There was nothing extraordinary about those three years. It’s a story that every person who has graduated from a mediocre college in Delhi University has to share. A flamboyant city, new college life, bunking of classes, sitting around with friends all day long, no money in the pocket, a profound love for the college bike parking area, those millions of hangout places, negotiations with parents for outings and night-outs, a feeling of being a part of a real group of friends and above all, that outstanding set of friends who have come to define my personality. This was a time when life was all good. Well…not actually throughout the three years but that year of 2006-07 was just out of this world! The reason? Most of them are mentioned above… Who will not love that kind of life? But there was something beyond all this! That’s the confidence and perspective that this set of friends gave me. The ability to take on life, at least half a dozen shoulders to lean on in times of crisis and wait! Am I forgetting the most important gift… A millions of memories to last a lifetime!!!!

To write about all of them, I need at least a book of the size of Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand (if not more). But this column is dedicated to one of the crown jewel that I got and that’s where this passage started. I want to keep this short but there is no guarantee coz it’s going to be real hard. Not because he is some exemplary human being that needs such a wordy description (this blog is not being written to praise him for he knows exactly what I feel for him but to thank him for meeting me at the right time of life!!!) but because he is so much a part of my life that it’s hard to miss out on anything. So here goes the story which is very similar to many other friendships yet different... For the simple reason that it’s him and me and there are not many sets of such a beautiful bond that I have come across in life!

I have never believed in destiny all my life for I think that concept is flawed in itself and definitely we did not meet coz we were meant to meet. I choose who to be friends with coz I cannot leave anything to fate! So he was among the chosen few J Why? Because he was genuine. There are loads of people who are understanding, caring, smart, funny and all that you look for in a friend. But this guy was different for me because he was all that, he had the best of qualities and still behaved as if there was nothing special about it. People viewed him as a fun to be with guy, who makes people laugh but hardly has someone seen him the way I have. He says coolly, “Yeah so I make others laugh... What’s the big deal about it?” I don’t know how to answer him. May be, he doesn’t realize that he is giving the greatest gift to his friends.

Our friendship had the same initial hiccups that are seen in every movie. We were linked together as a couple and teased around so much for the simple reason that I used to adore him. That never bothered me though. If he is that way, I have to adore him. He didn’t leave me much option really. I spent so much of time with him (we used to travel together, hang around together, meet over weekends and so much more) that I got used to goodness. He was there to listen whenever I talked and better still, he was there to talk when I had only silence for company. He had the faith in me that no one other than my parents and sister showcased. He was one of the happiest human beings when I left for my MBA and then when I got a job which I wanted and moved to Mumbai.

As of today, after seven years, nothing has changed except that we live in separate states. He is one of the very few persons that come to mind immediately when I have to share a success story or a troubling thought. He still gives me a hard time with his stupid jokes, annoying behaviour and childish pestering. And he is still a reason for me to smile when Mumbai gives me a hard time with all the estranged feeling that it has burdened me with. He is what Rahul Dravid was to the Indian team. He is my WALL and will continue to remain so. And if I do not stop writing about him here, the nostalgic feeling of memories and the tears will be inevitable…

It’s been more than a year since I moved out of Delhi and I can still remember that farewell my friends gave me and the only thing running through my mind was whether I was going to find a bunch of jerks like this ever again in my life who care for me so much and make my life so easy and comfortable. The thought of leaving that comfort zone was terrifying but there were these four people who gave me the assurance to go ahead and the promise to stay there in the background whenever I need them. I don’t know whether they will be there my entire life but the belief that they will is enough to motivate me to keep moving on!

This was meant to be a birthday tribute to the one guy (though I am four months late on it) but it turned out to be a remembrance of that entire bunch of friends that I am so proud to have found and no hard feelings Spidey but you have to agree that our friendship is incomplete if these guys are not a part of it!! Cheers and a very Happy Birthday... Wishing you the best of everything in life coz you deserve every bit of it J

Dedicated to Abhishek, Anshul, Ankush, Supriya, Anant, Sakshi, Radhika, Meenakshi, Geetika, Isha, Indu and DCAC!!

A toast to the champion!

This blog is a week overdue but then this job of mine doesn’t give me freedom enough to think peacefully and write the masterpiece that this exemplary human being deserves. No article, no comments and no writing can in full describe what this man has been to our country but then as a true fan and specifically one who has witnessed most of his remarkable career, I owe him this and despite not doing the justice that this man is so worthy of, it is still a salute from me and every other ordinary cricket fan that I represent! Pardon me if any of my comments are offensive to anyone. But these are all personal opinions and a bias towards the master is unavoidable for I have been an ardent fan of this man throughout my life.

When Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar was lifted up after India won the ICC World Cup 2011 and given a ride on the shoulders of one of the upcoming players of Indian cricket around the ground where it all started for this man, I knew that I was witnessing live, a history in making. The overwhelming feeling that overpowered every single fan who was watching that on television across the world is beyond imagination if you yourself haven’t been a witness to it. And when Virat Kohli said the words that “It is no pain to carry a man for 15 minutes who has carried the Indian cricket for 21 years”, you could see the emotions in the eyes of this genius cricketer who has indeed been the mainstay of this sport in this country over the past two decades.

Not to steal away any credit from the 100s of other gems that this sport has produced, but this man has become synonymous with the game itself and for that he deserved to be a part of a team that lifted the cup after 27 years. Every cricketer has at the back of his mind a dream to be a part of the championship winning team and this man has had that dream for two decades now! He has given his everything to the game and still has so much more left in him. Age has only made this man more classy, more stylish and more responsible towards his duties and it is an indefinable pleasure to watch his willow do the talking.

The Sachin straight drive is by far the best shot (a personal opinion of course) and every single one of those makes you think whether this man will ever become old for this game!! You still see him play every game with the same enthusiasm that a teenage boy has when he starts playing cricket with his local ‘gali’ friends. The World Cup was a crown jewel in the sparkling career of this prodigy and if this turns out to be the last major tournament that he has played, it was a fitting climax to an illustrious career.

Many felt that Dhoni was not given the credit that he deserved and the limelight was shifted to Sachin. I don’t really have to defend anyone here. (As a person very close to me says, you don’t have to defend when you know you are right. You just have to be indifferent to others!!). But old habits die hard and I have felt very strongly about this and I need a forum to express this. Sachin may not have won this for India and the team may not have won this for a single man… But all said and done, this man deserved to be a part of the celebration and to experience what it felt to be a part of the World Champion team. He has breathed cricket all his life and he owes this to himself! And all the cricket fans owe it to him!! What Dhoni did was a hearty gesture and if people feel that he didn’t get the praise that he deserved, well there is one thing that any Dhoni fan knows… The man with the Midas Touch has so much talent and so many years of cricket in him that a couple of more championships may definitely be on the cards.

As a finishing note, a salute to the Indian cricket team, the support staff, the rest of the cricketing community and above all, the cricket believers across the world who have been a part of this phenomenal effort on the part of Team India! No other team would have fitted the title better, not because they aren’t talented enough, but because this one made billions across the world feel proud of their country and I doubt there would have been an equal numbers of smiles (or even half of it), had it been anyone else!!!

Dedicated to Team India!!

Living out your priorities

This episode is inspired in part by the story of a close friend who has been in a constant struggle with his emotional composure for the past year or so and the rest by a midnight group discussion in the office premises with a bunch of confused colleagues and/or friends that lasted for almost four hours amidst high-running emotions…

Well let’s start with a question! How many of us exactly know what we want to be seen as, say a decade down the line? When I ask that question, I am strictly referring to the professional aspect of life. Very few ‘Yes’ answers I expect and out of those few, how many are really in a place where they are actually taking some effort as a part of the game plan to accomplish what they want? This time I expect only a handful to stand up! Now I guess it’s easier to figure why so many of us hate our jobs… We all know that we Do Not want to do what we currently are doing but very few of us know what it is that we want to do! I am definitely not one of those few…..

The modern India has so become that the so called Generation Next of fast thinkers with big dreams and strong ideologies end up working in jobs that seldom puts the mind to work. And it is not that they don’t realize that this is what is happening to them and perhaps, that is the sole reason that they want to leave the place that they are in right now. But then what is it that is stopping them from doing the same? No prizes for guessing the answers….Money! Every person with some amount of maturity and experience in life knows that money is not everything in life. But still it ends up being the deciding factor when it comes to selecting the kind of life that we want to live…

The emotional trauma that every Indian youngster in the age group of 20-30 goes through in establishing the career that they have planned for themselves is unbelievable and nobody knows whether they will actually end up being what they want or the combined pressure of social pressure and the stronghold of money will force them to compromise… or even worse… make them believe that this is what they wanted in life and create an illusion where they forget what they planned in the first place..

A small brief on what goes through in the mind of an average person in our target population who have just completed their education and landed up in a job because that is the only thing that they were programmed to do ever since they can recall… “Here is what I am going to do. Get into the job that I want to in the next one year or so (which will for sure be a high paid job!!!) then work hard (by working hard, I mean for 100 odd hours on average over a week) for the next 10 years, I make the money that I wanted, and then I leave the job and take up a much lower-profile job, both in terms of money and the insane work hours, and then I will carry out all my passions of life for I will have the financial strength to back it up… (The passion may vary from person to person from travelling, adventure sports, photography, art or just being content with a family). Perfect!! Sounds like a plan…”

But will it really work that way?? Given that it is a high paid job, where you make so much money that you have gotten used to a lifestyle that cannot be altered so easily, how many of us will have the maturity and courage to stand up and say that this is it! Let’s stop here and do all the other things I wanted… Will that moment of dawn ever come? Will we not have reasons throughout life to stop us from taking up our dreams…? Giving the best to the people who love you, fame, power, money or in an improbable case, falling in love with your job, and many more millions of excuses that will convince us to say, “Let me just stay in the job for another couple of years!” And probably this “couple” will turn into a decade and by the time you sit one day to think of those dreams that you wanted to realize, they would actually have become just a dream!!!

Guess the ideal time to live those out is never going to come, however strong your “game plan”!! So well…what’s the conclusion??? For me (and you all are allowed to make your opinions and share as well if you are interested!), there is never going to be a time to “live life”. It’s now! Your career may pan out the way you want in a few years or it may not. But to live out the aspects of life that you call as your dream or passion... this is the time. Let’s at least make an effort to kick start today! At least I am not going to wait for the right time to come :)

The city of hope

What is about Mumbai that is so different from the rest of the cities in India? Is it just a worldly image created by Bollywood, or is it really, like the people of Mumbai keep referring to, a city of dreams? Earlier I used to dismiss the argument as a useless one since, I, for one, hated this city. Close to a year now and still the feeling has shifted only from intolerable to somewhat bearable… Mind you, there is nothing particularly wrong with Mumbai for it is very similar to most of the Indian metros that I have visited in the general aspects. But when I came here, I left behind a place full of memories….the city that has given me everything-my personality, strength, freedom and beyond all that, a bunch of friends that is irreplaceable.

Every day I encounter an argument with my colleagues, that usually takes the same pattern. A couple of us on one side defending my home turf that is Delhi and a bunch of others supporting Mumbai. (There are a few in support of other metros as well but they are a minority and generally lose out!!!) Though the argument is unfounded and baseless, it at least triggered a thought in the line of whether one of these two cities is actually better than the other. The love affair with Delhi is like a predictable story…a comfortable companion that you have grown up with, the city has a charm and a force about it that is so magnetic that it is a pride in calling yourself a tough-to-handle, “I don’t care” attitude Delhiite!!! This is an obvious side of the story. But the hatred for Mumbai…well, that is biased for sure! Biased from the mindset that a place that does not have your family and friends is unacceptable as a place worth living….

From the outside, Mumbai just looks like a crowded city, with an enormous cost of living, where the density of population is increasing at an astronomical speed given that a small village size of people get added to this city everyday. As a friend of mine pointed out to me today, it is a city that has welcomed so many strangers with outstretched arms, that has made so many dreams come alive and that teaches you how to be someone on your own. The people here do not care for their neighbours; well… they don’t even know who their neighbours are!!! Because everyone is so busy running after a wild goose chase, trying to make their destiny that it becomes a crime to waste your time on socializing, specially when there is no personal gain out of it!

But is all this the fault of Mumbai? Is this the Mumbai culture? Apparently not! Take a few steps back and look at the people running that frenzied race… They are the same kind of people as I am… the people who chose Mumbai to build a career in this city and while doing so left their beloved homes. All of us have a shared hatred for this city just because it’s not our home and we take the frustration out by not wanting to mix with the people whose only sin is apparently that they are not from your city!!! So, this culture of selfishness is built by the refugees who have come here. The real Mumbai still lives the same way as every other city. This city has actually been generous enough to allow the people from across the country to come here, get a life, learn to live, and then spoil its culture and reputation as well! This generosity is in turn being viewed as degradation of social norms!!!! What an irony that is….

Just take a walk along the Marine Drive at 2AM in the night looking at the lights that are often referred to as queen’s necklace… Just keep watching the waves that hit the rocks on the Nariman Point… Just stand near the Land’s end in Bandra and look at the sea link… And you would realize that it is indeed a city of hopes… At least I did!

Letter from an insane mind

Disclaimer: This is a purely fictitious blog written in first person only to give a touch of realism to the narration and any resemblance to any person is purely coincidental J

Life presents you with such ironic turn of events that always leave you wondering whether there is actually someone above this world who is manoeuvring each and every move of ours and well in my case, plotting against me as well. The so called Supreme Being, if there is someone like that must hate me for he presents me with such fantastic examples of contrast in life of which I am clearly not a fan….. Here goes one such example….

We met two and a half years ago in a college cafeteria when you asked me if you could share the lunch table and you looked like such a jerk that I didn’t even bother to remember your name. Little did I even guess in my wildest dreams that a day will come when a couple of hours without hearing your voice would make life tough for me. There are some things that I can never tolerate in a person- laziness, lack of passion, overconfidence and the habit of criticizing people for the sake of entertainment. You had all that and much more of it and despite that we became the best of friends. Actually, if anyone spends as much time with each other as we spent over the last couple of years, they would become inseparable for that’s what human beings are: addicted to habits so badly that they never want to get out of it. In hindsight it’s hard to believe that people with such different ideologies can even stay in the same room with each other. I still hate all those about you-I hate your guts, your arrogance and the way you always try to prove me wrong just to win an argument. But despite that you remain my closest pal…. Well that’s an understatement for you are like the other side of me!!!

The turbulence in our relationship is nothing short of a joy ride in an amusement park except that the turns have been at the wrong places and the word joy does not do justice to the unbelievable strength that your presence has given me. But for the sadder part, there always comes the question of where this relationship is going especially when you are a girl!!! I have asked that question to myself so many times that I often think that I don’t even need an answer coz I never try to look for one. I wanted to take this relationship to the next level always for that seemed the logical part of it. Two people who know each other so well should stay together for the rest of their life; be it through matrimony or otherwise. I tried to convince myself that there is a line of difference between what we had and what is called being in love. But apparently that line is just imaginary…. When you care for someone the way I do for you, either you got to be in love or… well there is no OR!! That’s the only answer!!!

And I have never failed to put this thought forward to you. But you…Well you have always thought that things wouldn’t work out. You have never given me a reason for your argument though which I assume is because you never had one!!! How much harder can it be to forget our differences and remain as friends, like we are today for the rest of our lives??? Harder than you going in a search of a beautiful looking girl, whom you can call your girlfriend, who might be a nice person (I don’t deny that) but who is a total stranger to you and with whom you have to spend years just to make her understand what you really are???? Definitely not!! But you chose the latter part for apparently, though I can know you inside out, probably even more than you yourself do, you cannot give me a chance for there is some reason so inexplicably hidden in this whole argument that eludes me.

You keep saying that I am confusing myself by bringing baseless thoughts and imaginations into my mind. Well let’s be clear while we are on the subject. It’s not that I have spent days and nights dreaming about getting married to you and spending the rest of my life with you. If that’s your definition of being in love, well then again we share a difference of opinion like we always do. I have just started planning my future life and you inevitably became a part of it because you are already a part so many things going on in my life. You say my thinking has changed! Well I have no clue about that but I have just become so comfortable with you being there whenever I want that I can’t imagine a future where that does not exist. The irony that I mentioned above is that when everyone around us sees the “connect” and logical conclusion of our relationship, why do you not see it?? Or is it a conscious decision on your part to avoid it for you are too scared to face the reality?

And today, I again ask you to come back out of that relationship which seems like more of a charade than some real bond, come back so that we can be together and in the name of god, I know that that will make us both happier in life!!! And what do you say? You can never hurt anyone and you have given her your commitment. The second part of the statement again impresses me (like every single thing about you) but the first part?? Sorry Mr. that’s where you are wrong… You hurt someone along the way, someone who was always there with you and who would have been there in future as well… And you know who that is!!!!

Regards,

Me!