The Unforgiven

He stood there in the middle of a crowd of hundreds, lost in his own world, wondering how she will look in the beautiful wedding gown that they had together selected for her. There was chattering everywhere, a typical wedding venue, with the general atmosphere of merriment and celebration. For him, the noise was a mere whisper as his mind tried to filter out the sounds to focus on the one thought that mattered to him... the role that every man wanted to see the love of his life in... As a bride!

His eyes kept moving back and forth between the door and the ring in his hand. His mind wandered over the scattered memories of the last three years, which seemed a little more concrete than a dream at this moment. He struggled to recollect, though not with much success, the first moment when he had seen her. He snapped back to reality when his best friend, standing next to him, nudged him slightly, and he realized that he had been staring at the entrance for what seemed like an eternity.

And then she walked in, surrounded by flowers and giggling girls, but all he could see was her angelic face in that beautiful attire. He could hear people whispering that she looked like a princess, and he just wondered, "hadn't she looked this beautiful all along!?!" She lifted her head slightly and as if on cue, he turned and caught her eye. Even from this distance, he was confident that he could see tears in her eyes. He quickly averted his eyes, not sure how appropriate it was to stare at the bride, but then again, he noticed every eye fixated on her, and relaxed a bit.

She walked slowly towards him, and his mind did a quick re run of their memories together. In those two minutes, he lived the past three years. She stopped just short of the altar and looked up uncertainly at him, just a fleeting glance, as a hand reached out to her and she stepped up and stood opposite to him. He looked at her and then at the ring that he held in his hand, as he started welling up. His hand involuntarily reached forward, as his best friend took the ring from him and all he could see from his teary eyes were her lowered eyes and her wet cheeks!

The Toblerone story

The blank farewell note

This time it's again one of those blogs where I try in best to describe someone close to me. It's an episode in a series of blogs that I have come to write to immortalize people through my words. And years down the line, when I read this blog, I'm sure I will be as confused about his personality as I am today!

This blog marks the end of a six year period (an "era" you might say if you are a fan of F.R.I.E.N.D.S!!) that I have known him as a super smart guy, then as an annoying buddy, then a colleague and then finally a fantastic friend! My vague memories of him as a classmate haven't been altered a lot over the years. He was a confused soul then and he continues to be one still. People might describe him as a difficult-to-comprehend person! He has his own set of principles, ideals I would call them, and lives in a world which probably he alone understands.

Nevertheless, his complicated world has never prevented me from admiring him. I remember rejoicing during my college days when I got a job alongside him in the same company! Silly as it may sound, to be employed alongside someone you hold in high esteem is kind of an honor, at least at a personal level. He was for a long time, sort of, like a role model for me (though not in that elevated godly sense of the word but a milder version :) ) until I realized that I can never have the kind of dedication and commitment that he has towards a task and henceforth had to stop trying to emulate him!!

There is something very peculiar about him that needs a mention here. As I remember from a recent conversation, I had described him as someone closest to an idealist guy that I have seen in real life. While half his thoughts may not really connect with everyone, you need to understand him to absorb that bottom line of his personality. If there is a practical way and a right way to do something, he chooses the latter! I think the last time I came across a guy like that was Howard Roark in Fountainhead!

At a point in time when I had given up trying to convince him that the right way won't take you much forward in this inexplicable world, he proved to me in his own subtle yet assertive way that I was indeed wrong! I hate him for doing that in his sarcastic, condescending way (but that's how he always has been!) and at the same time adore and even kind of envy his internal strength and level headed approach towards life. And now that he is on the other end of the world (almost the farthest time zone possible) I can't help but wonder how badly I am gonna miss that clarity of thought which he brought about in every conversation we had!

This guy, who has called me by a million senseless nicknames over the years including moron, nutcase and devil, just made my day today in the sweetest possible way. For someone who always seemed as non-caring and detached as humanly possible, the Toblerone bar with the blank post-it that he left on my desk as a farewell note said much more than he ever managed to convey in our six years of friendship! Someone lightheartedly teased me that he has no words of good-bye for you... Come to think of it, how poetically fitting that sounds!